Celebrating One Year of Home Ownership ...

We started house hunting last March in Los Angeles because the market was at the precipice of a period of gradual increases in interest rates. At the time, Jack and I were comfortably living in our one-bedroom apartment on the west side that we had maximized to its full potential. We always knew we could comfortably live there for a while and we thought we would wait out the pandemic and see where the housing market would be after all of the dust settled. Of course when the fed announced their plan for several more interest rate hikes in the coming months, we knew that we’d have to burst our little comfort bubble and jump into house hunting if we wanted to have any buying power at all. Each day we waited, our money would we worth less and there was no telling when interest rates would be as low as they were again.

Jack and I both felt that if we didn’t invest in a property very soon, we likely wouldn’t be able to afford the house we wanted to be in for the next stage of our lives. It was clear that a lot of people were feeling the same way because the buyers’ market was absolutely insane. I think we managed to see every single house that was listed on the market in our desired areas within less than two weeks. We were on Zillow, Redfin and different broker portals hitting the refresh button constantly and houses were being sold within mere days of being listed. We started feeling the immense pressure of how competitive we would have to be. We’d go to open houses every day, sometimes seeing up to 5 houses in a day and by the time we got home, we felt emotionally shattered. One of the things that felt especially triggering was that we noticed we were running into a lot of the same couples and investors at several of the homes we went to see. We knew the competition was steep, and we also knew we were up against people who might have been able to offer things that as first time home buyers, were out of the question for us. It was going to be a bloody battle to stand out as buyers and be chosen.

Of course we made some mistakes. We were naïve and we did exactly what we were cautioned against doing. We fell madly in love with the first house we went to go see and we became totally obsessed with the idea that it was the only house we could ever see ourselves in. We put an offer in on it that same day because we’d learned they weren’t going to take any more offers after 6pm that evening as they already had 16 to consider. The house was listed at the top of our budget, and by top, I mean WAY over. If you shook us both upside down and collected every penny that fell out of our pockets, we could just barely afford the proverbial four walls and nothing else. We figured that if by some miracle we got the home, it would be worth the sacrifice of having to drastically change our spending habits to make up for how tight money would be for a while.

Looking back now, of course we know that wasn’t the house for us. Even though that home was amazing and we loved so much about it, there was a lot of work that would have had to be done and we wouldn’t have money to fall back on in case of an emergency. We were in love with the idea of what the house could be, and didn’t take into account how important our lifestyle is to us regardless of where we are living. Having MS, there are so many things I can’t sacrifice when it comes to my routine and avoiding unnecessary stress is more vital to my lifestyle than almost anything else I can physically do to improve my health. Neither of us were thinking clearly enough to see that we were ignoring major necessities for ourselves and we were in way over our heads.

We made it to the second round of counter offers, and then the third and final one. We were putting absolutely everything on the table, even considering pulling out money from one of our investment accounts to cushion our offer. It was all too easy to be wrapped up in the intensity of it all and the feeling that there was so little time. We got the call from our realtors late one night after we’d been holding our breaths for days. She let us know that the owners went with another offer. The offer was all cash and they waived the appraisal, inspection and offered more than 250K over the asking price. Hearing that outrageous number and the waiver of all contingencies, we were dumfounded. I turned to Jack (I’ll admit, with tears running down my face) and said “Thank god we didn’t get it! That was never going to be our home.” We were so relived.

It was like the fog cleared and a massive weight was lifted from our shoulders. Suddenly, all the worries about the things that would have to go right for us and for how long were gone. It almost felt like we got our lives back in that moment because we were no longer going to sell our souls to the idea of that house. We went from feeling the poorest we’d ever felt, to being in a great financial position to buy a home again within seconds. We both had been so stressed out and worried about how thin we would be stretching ourselves for this home that we were no longer able to realize that we weren’t anxious because the house was too special to let slip away, we were anxious because we were overleveraging ourselves in a massive way which made us think we loved the house way more than we actually did. It was terrifying to realize how far outside of our common sense we’d drifted. Being a financial advisor and Jack a mortgage lender, we felt embarrassed that we’d fallen into the same emotional spending patterns we caution clients about all the time! However, that is exactly what happens when people are put in these intense situations. There is a sense of desperation and it can be easy to get totally lost in the experience and make decisions we’d have never allowed ourselves to make with clear minds.

Being in our home now that is absolutely perfect for us, we know everything worked out exactly as it should have. Our first experience from viewing to final offer felt like we’d been put through a crash course on being first time home buyers. We are so grateful for the experience and that it happened quickly so we could move on and see the whole process with a much clearer vision of what we wanted and what we weren’t willing to sacrifice to get it. We knew that when we didn’t get that home, we wanted to completely go back to the drawing board and reevaluate the way we were looking at potential homes for ourselves. We lowered our budget a significant amount and started looking for houses that were modern, blank canvases that we could afford to add the things we wanted immediately to, without having to do any actual remodeling because the cost of labor and materials was so high at the time. We knew were it would be wise to save and wise to spend and made strategic decisions about where we’d compromise. We factored in wanting to build a full gym, install a sauna, build a garden and fully furnish our home. We estimated how much all of those things were going to cost us, padded the numbers so that there was extra money in case something unexpected happened (which it almost always does) and then we started looking at houses that we could REALLY afford.

This opened up a whole new bracket of houses for us to look at. We had more confidence, we felt grounded and so much more prepared to pivot if needed. We ended up making four more offers and getting the house that was perfect for us and what we wanted out of our first home. We were fortunate to find a house that hit every single nonnegotiable on our list. It was so important that we found a home with a big beautiful yard with tons of room to plant and garden. We both wanted our own home office and to also have a guest room, lots of storage, a long driveway so that we would be able to convert a garage into a full gym. It was very important to me to live in a quiet walkable neighborhood so I would feel comfortable walking by myself when I need to, and I wanted to feel like there was more of a sense of community than what we’d experienced living on the west side of LA.

We celebrated our one-year home buying anniversary on April 8th by drinking some good wine and talking about all of the things that we learned about the process and what we were thankful for. We are fortunate to look at the last year and know we were wise to be conservative with how much we were willing to spend on our home. We have encountered countless obstacles that have all been made so much easier by planning for unforeseen expenses. Within days of moving in, we needed to update the entire electrical panel for our home and I have to tell you, being able to afford to fix or replace things we didn’t think we’d have to felt almost more satisfying than getting the home itself. It has made our lives feel so full that we have been able to take an already charming and beautiful home and turn it into a place that feels like us in every corner. Had we not adjusted our game plan, we could have ended up in that first house that while beautiful, wasn’t ever going to be able to give us the things this home has already in such a short time. It seems like every day, one or both of us says “I love our home… I can’t believe we get to live here.” I truly believe that feeling is due to the fact that we have invested so much into the home after we bought it to make it fit what we needed rather than the other way around.

My best advice to all my friends out there still in the process of home buying is to make a list of the things that are nonnegotiable to your lifestyle and everyday happiness. How we are able to live while in our homes is so much more essential than the home itself and its never worth it to sacrifice those things and put yourself in a situation where you could feel stuck and terrified that you may not be able to afford your lifestyle. The peacefulness of feeling safe, living within our means, and having the ability to do the things we love all contribute so much to the feeling of being “at home.” My advice to anyone out there looking to buy their home is to write a killer profile letter to the current owners of any home you’re putting an offer in on (the previous owners of our home said this was a major factor in why they decided to pick our offer) that shows who you are and to try your best not to forget that you are the thing that makes a house a home and putting yourself (and your family if applicable) first are the best investment you could ever make. Don't lose sight of what is most important and no matter where you end up, you'll know you made the right choice.