Recharging in Nature

As someone who carries a lot of anxiety with them, I’ve gone through numerous trial and error practices to help mitigate negative energy in my body. It’s really nice to hear how common high levels of anxiety are in the world right now, because up until very recently, there seemed to be a lot of shame associated with admitting that we are struggling with mental health. I believe that a lot of our openness about mental health came bursting out of the pandemic where so many of us were forced to stay home and become roommates with our own thoughts and whatever elevated chemicals were surging in our brains trying to keep us functioning. We were in survival mode for so long, with so much uncertainty. I guess on some level, that may be what I ultimately saw as the silver lining of an otherwise devastating global disaster. The levels of people seeking help for mental health and interest in mood management via medications and holistic practices skyrocketed.

Something that having MS has taught me and that I am entirely grateful for is that there is no shame in vocalizing what we are experiencing in our bodies, in our minds and in our hearts. Be it anxiety, depression, a broken heart, insecurities, or any kind of physical pain- I believe if it is something that’s happening inside of you, regardless of the cause, it is natural and you should never feel ashamed of seeking help. For my overwhelming anxiety, I’ve tried everything from meditation, yoga, planned silence, social media cleanses, reading, gardening, even crocheting! I felt (and still feel) very reluctant to be on a medication that alters my mood. THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. That needed to be said. I would never recommend that anyone start or stop a medication as I have no idea what would work best for anyone but myself. Even when the results weren’t exactly what I was hoping for, trying these many ways of lowering my anxiety lead to new interests, hobbies and an ability to see something new and be intrigued by it, rather than daunted. The activities also yielded tangible goods in the form of crocheted scarves for every single person I’ve ever come into contact with.

In the past few months, I think I have made a massive breakthrough. Nature. I always thought that to quiet my mind, I had to be somewhere quiet and master being one with that stillness. Jack and I have been making a very intentional effort to spend as much time outside on the weekends as possible and it has reminded us of how vital to our wellbeing it is to be outdoors. Life has been so incredibly busy and we have been trying to keep up with all of our loved ones and entire months book up almost instantly if we aren’t careful. We decided to schedule hikes for ourselves almost every other weekend, and created a rule of never repeating a hike until we have made it through all of the local trails we can find. We have both found something so cathartic about submitting to nature, not knowing what to expect or how much longer we have to go. I am totally a culprit when it comes to counting down or knowing when something will end and what to look out for, what is supposed to happen next, etc. If I have hiked a trail before, my mind immediately starts creating work for itself. “We have passed this stream, that means there’s three left.” “We still have that big hill to go, I feel like it seems further this time… how many miles do you think we have gone?”

Again, this stems from my constant need to anticipate what happens next and plan for every worst case scenario. One of my primary personality traits is that I don’t like to be startled or surprised. I have a chronic habit of needing to spoil an ending so that I will be able to watch a show with less anxiety. Jack and I love the Formula 1 Drive To Survive documentary and I don’t think I’ve ever been able to sit through a race without knowing which team placed where before it has started. It’s my brain’s way of trying to prevent pain or discomfort, a trauma response deeply embedded in my psyche. By trying out new trails, it has really helped to release me from that pattern of thinking. Because I am not able to know what is ahead of what I can actually see in that moment, it is training my brain to focus on what is right in front of me and moving through it to find out naturally what comes next. Thinking about it now, I am all but certain that doing this enough will begin to create new neuro pathways for my brain and help me to have healthier thought processes.

Our last couple hikes were anything but peaceful. With the insane rain we have been getting in California, we thought that it was the perfect time to hike to a waterfall in Malibu that we heard was especially beautiful right now. That advice wasn’t wrong at all! What we didn’t quite expect was trudging through the mud, for four miles, mostly uphill. We also didn’t think that we’d be climbing, jumping and crossing roaring streams of water to get to said waterfall. Nothing about this was peaceful, or relaxing... until all of the sudden, it was. Once we’d gotten back to the parking lot I felt this weight lifted. I thought it was likely relief that we’d made it back to the car in one piece, or that we were exhausted from how much physical exertion we’d just done, but that wasn’t it. I turned to Jack and did my best to explain that for reasons I have to learn more about, my mind was so clear and my mood was elevated to the point where I felt I had some sort of high. I noticed for several days afterwards that my anxiety wasn’t showing up as much as it normally did in the start of the week. The difference was astounding. I strongly believe that simply being outside, moving around, facing new challenges and being extremely present and in the moment for hours at a time had directly impacted my level of anxiety.

What we feel it came down to was the positive energy that comes naturally from the earth. We were covered in mud, wet, and tired but we both felt incredible afterwards. I am a huge believer in Earthing and I don’t do enough of it right now. Though this topic has been deemed very “woo woo” in the past, studies are multiplying daily on how many positive effects happen in our bodies when we spend time outside. Earthing is said to generate a balance in our bodies, it has proven to increase our mood and our overall energy, reduce stress and cortisol levels, help with joint pain, improve sleep, and improve our overall wellbeing. As someone living with MS who is trying to take as few medications as possible, I was all about this.

At the end of the hike we took off our shoes and socks and talked. The words we were using to describe how we were feeling were “recharged, restored, at peace, centered, grounded” and so on. I guess I’m starting to understand why mud baths have been a to-do for so long. The amazing thing was that being subjected to the elements and being surrounded by roaring waters, crashing waterfalls, wind, mud and wildlife was a form of therapy. Even though there was a lot going on and it was far from quiet or peaceful for most of the way, I don’t remember ever feeling anxious on that hike. I was so consumed by the moment and even when the hike felt difficult, I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Knowing that I could get to that place, and reap the benefits of it for days afterwards made me believe that it’s possible to do this enough where these feelings will become a habit and hopefully compound over time, lowering my stress and anxiety to much healthier levels. We plan to continue trying out new hikes and observing the changes we feel in our lives from spending more time getting back to basics. If you have any great hike recommendations, please feel free to message me with them! We’d love a new adventure.